You get to choose to look with eyes of love, or of loathing.
You get to choose to voice confidence, or criticism.
You get to choose to act with compassion, or contempt.
You get to choose your attitude.
You get to choose when you will embrace the courage of honest conversation.
– “Challenge yourself, and believe!” –
I have embraced truth and personal choice this week and it has been life reaffirming. An experience of practicing and not just professing my values. A commitment of living true to self, irrespective of the outcome. A week when I reaffirmed that the richest gift that we can offer another is honest communication of our truth.
Sometimes we can enter a relationship because we want the other person to give us something – safety, security, companionship, money, sex, a baby, or whatever. We can focus in our mind about the benefit we will receive if we give of our time, our energy, and perhaps our body. There is an exchange. Perhaps unspoken, but no doubt sub-consciously agreed. We give in order to receive.
But what about when we encounter a partner who is deeply connected with their soul and not operating from a place of ego – of fear, judgement or need. How do we react? Do we have the self-worth and self-awareness to also enter a relationship from a place of honest, soulful truth? No agenda. No needing or wanting. No demands. Simply a connection between equal souls who desire to share joy, time and experiences.
How prepared would you be to be honest and enter the relationship with an unwavering commitment to self-love? A desire to simply share space. What would you choose?
What if we entered this soul union, this marriage, would we then have the discipline to remain committed to look with eyes of love, to voice confidence and to act with compassion. Would we have the courage to support and to be supported? Or would our attitude change with time and situation? Would we forget to not blame and instead seek to criticise? Would our love and desire to simply share joy turn to nagging and our compassion to loathing? If they did, where should our anger and frustration be more appropriately focussed – on the other, or on our self?
It is so easy to blame someone else for our situation. So easy to adopt the attitude of victim. It is hard to do the work of looking within. Difficult to accept the part that we have played in creating our own reality. Yet, remarkably freeing when we have the courage to step forward and speak our honest truth. There is nothing more liberating than speaking from a place of self-awareness, self-worth and self-love, fearless of the consequences, committed to truth and accepting personal responsibility.
If we stopped looking at our partner as a provider and started to embrace them as a thinking and feeling human being on a soul journey – would our attitude and behaviours change? Man or woman. Both just souls trying to navigate life as best as they can. Both in need of love and support. Both carrying the baggage of their past and facing their personal angels and demons. If we were able to look simply with eyes of love – what would we see? How would our attitude and behaviour change? How would we maintain a desire to share joy and avoid the ego’s demands for wants and needs?
If a relationship is to be not about me, but rather about an awareness of us – how do we cultivate this? I remember one time when I awoke in the morning and I was full of energy and delight. I wanted to wake my partner. I wanted him to align to my rhythm. But he was deeply asleep. I decided to offer up a gift of love and patience. I lay still. I meditated. I breathed and I waited. He awoke two hours later. He was touched that I had had the love, care and patience to let him rest. For me, it was a devotion of love, for him a delight that I had had the compassion to allow him to be. I have never forgotten how powerful it felt to let go of the “I” in that moment.
Sometimes I feel that we women can forget that a man is equally soul as well as ego. If we are simply responsible for our choices and actions – what can we choose to do differently to allow a space for joy, love and appreciation of each other’s soul journey?
If you looked at your relationship today – what is it premised on? Need? Want? For me, simply delight to share joy and journey together?
Believe! Accept. Breathe.
Liberating Self – A Soul’s Journey, explores the path of liberating self to choose to live our dreams and the wonderment that can occur when the soul’s courage is embraced.
To be further inspired, download the entire ebook from my website “Liberating Self – A Soul’s Journey”
Thanks for being curious to connect and be inspired.
Ps Check out my website and philosophy on www.christinespring.com